The prices that we pay
by Nevren7
Summary: It seems like Harry found remedy, a way to free the world from Voldemort for once and for all. Before he knows it he yet again has to face the dire consequences of his actions. After all, every wish has a price.


He knew that once he was done there was no going back, the book said so. The circle he painted on the floor was taunting him now. Will you chicken now Harry?– it seemed to say. He closed his eyes, desperately wishing that there were someone, anyone who could help him, advise him, someone who would assure him that his decision was right. But there was no such person anymore and so the choices were his to make.

He had to kill Voldemort, the Dark Lord of his times, all because some prophecy said so. But he was just a kid, it pained him to admit that but that was truth wasn't it? He wasn't the brightest or the most powerful wizard. He didn't have flair for studying or logic, he always counted on Hermione if he needed something, and now... Now he had only was no way he was going to involve his friends in this, the accident in the Ministry of Magic was enough.

He couldn't even trust Dumbledore now, not after everything the man did. At first he thought he could. Yet, the more he thought about it the less sure he felt and after some times the full meaning of Headmaster's words finally hit him.. And it hurt. It hurt him to think that one of few people that he trusted would betray him in such way. After all, what was it if not betrayal?

The way he was raised, without love or care, making him so tha vulnerable t he was ready to i anything just to be able to have acceptance and love. He was a pig raised up so it can be slaughtered. And Dumbledore saw to all of that.

And while feeling hurt by Headmaster's scheming he knew that he still be the sacrifice that the world needed. He will try to fullfil the prophecy, even if it's gonna cost him his life, because it was this world that gave him the feeling of belonging, something he longed for while he was living at the Dursley's. He has to pay for everything that magic world has given him. He knew that. He owed that to Sirius, to his parents, to every person who ever lost their life trying to save him or fighting for better tomorrow. And there was no escape.

Dammed Dumbledore and his plans, damn himself for wanting to know all the truth. Here now he has it all. He gotten more than he bargained for.

He felt the unpleasant feeling coming down his spine. It all came to this. He has to kill Voldemort. He has to become a murderer. But he didn't know how to do it, yet if he even can considering his lack of anything. And now while he could have been figuring how to solve this particular problem... he was sitting still in the Hospital Wing, half-heartly listening as Hermione read through the article which finally annouced the return of the Dark Lord. Her words weren't really reaching him though.

At that moment all he wished for was that the headmaster didn't tell him those damned words, that he could let him live in unconsciousness a little longer. But he wanted to hear them himself, his leaking state of mind was just another price, consequences that he had to pay for his actions.

"I just knew it. They had to write abut you as well"

He gave a quick glance at his friend. She could have died yesterday, because of him. Because he didn't think. He wouldn't be able to bear that.

"Oh so it's back to "The-Boy-Who-Lived" now?"

The unpleasant feeling seemed to collect in his stomach. Both Ron and Hermione... could be dead by now. People that he loved and cared about. He was putting everyone in danger. He closed his eyes.

"Are you alright Harry?" Hermione gave him quick worried glance.

"Uh? Ummh, yes don't worry, I was just thinking about something."he managed to utter under her watchful eyes.

"Are you really sure?" she stressed the last word.

He allowed himself to chuckle in mind. Save it to Hermione, her sharp eyes saw everything, even the struggles you bear in your mind.

"Yeah I'm sure Mione, I think I need to take a walk.."

"Oh sure we can take.." Before she finished though he decided to stop her.

"Sorry Mione, I need some time alone"

" I understand." she said, though for the first time she didn't. She only thought she did. " You know

Sirius wouldn't...

There... Hermione didn't understand. That would even be funny if it weren't for the current situation.

" I know Mione. See you later, ok?" he tried his best, and what surprised even himself managed to sound normal.

"Ok." she answered, her sharp eyes never leaving his face.

" See you mate" Ron added with a hint of worry in his voice.

As soon as he closed the door behind he let himself to run. But not from his responsibilities, oh no. The lives of his friends, their family, was on his hands. He couldn't run. He had duty to fulfil. But now it will be different. Now, he will do everything in his power to fullfil that damn prophercy and maybe then, just then if he succeedes he will have chance to lead a normal life. Like any other teenager would. And he will do this by himself. He can not risk loosing any of them. Not this time. It sure was surprising how neither Ms. Nor Mr. Weasley seemed to mind that he put their children's lives in danger. He didn't want to test their patience any more. It was the time to do things his way, he decided as he entered the library. There must be a way to defeat Dark Lord, and he is going to find it.

Rest of the school year passed fast, too fast for Harry's liking. He was splitting time between visits in Hospital Wing with Hermione, and his "time-alone walks" as the girl started to call them after a while, each time saying he shouldn't wander much around castle. But he didn't wander at all. Quite contrary. He spent every free moment in the library, trying to find spells, everything that could help him if he ever was to face the Voldemort.

School Library was big, it held so many books yet so many useless ones. Sure they had nice collection of dark magic deffense books. And some of them actually listed few useful spells. But they were in minority. And even if he did found something that was worth a try he had hard time trying to learn it.

First of all he was short on time. School year was ending, and he couldn't really practice at Dursley's could he? And then, even in castle it was already hard enough to cower up his library escapadas. He didn't want anyone to know. Holding knowledge from people was actually powerful weapon. If anything, he learnt that well this year. If he can defeat Voldemort by surprising him, he wont take any chances on the Dark Lord discovering his secrets. After all he was supposed to have the power which Dark Lord doesn't know. He just needed time, and it irritated him that he couldn't afford to waste any second if he wanted to improve.

That's why the day before school closed he decided to pay the library one last visit.

"Mister Potter" Miss Pince, school librarian eyed him suspiciously. She was still appearing to be surprised to see him there. Well no wonder, he rarely visited the library so she was unused to seeing him so much, he could imagine, that she thought that he was up to something.

"Umm.. Good morning." he said uncertainly. Looking around he saw that no one was in the library, well of course why would there be anyone, if school is closing for the summer tomorrow? But that was his chance and he was determined to take it." Miss Pince I was wondering..." he began as he eyed the pile of books he was holding. " May I take those home?" he mumbled, hoping silently that she would agree at least for some of the books he was holding.

"Excuse me?" she stated looking at him irritated "With all due respect Mister Potter I'm afraid you can not do that."now he could swore that her eyes worse something akin to satisfaction of a vulture who just snatched a piece of meat from other predator" School books are to stay there. Even if Headmaster himself gave you his permission you wouldn't be able to take any." she added more calmly now. " Those books contain incantations of spells. We can not borrow such books to underaged students, and deffinetly not to those who live with Muggles, and what's even more..to those who have such a history with breaking the Ministry Decrets Mr. Potter" she added officially however seeing his distraught posture she sighed saying " I'd be grateful if you put them back from where you took them Mr. Potter. Do so and maybe I will let you keep this one" She nodded towards old book laying on her desk." Miss Lovegood was nice enough to donate it to our book's stock, but I we don't hold such nonsenses in our library.

Seeing his uncertainity she pushed little, weared book towards him and pushed him out of library sighting heavily.

He dared to take one glance at the closed library's door.

"Just great" he said looking at the book "Rah'nar" he read the tittle. Oh well if it came from Luna it couldn't be dangerous right? And anyway, it's not like he will read it, the title seemed to suggest the book is some sort of nonsense and he had better things to do.

Like studying.

Out of curiosity he opened the book just to see that the first pages were blank. Having really strong sense of dejavu he reached for his pocket and hoping miss Pince won't decide to check on him, well seeing what he was about to do she would totally change her mind about giving the book to him, nonsense or not, he carefully hold his pen to the blank paper. His heart was racing fast in his ears, his breath became pretty shallow. He almost jumped when he heard voice behind him.

"You know you shouldn't do it. You will destroy the book." he turned around just to face Luna.

"Oh, hi." he said uncertainly

" Harry Potter" she nodded in a way that was so typical for her.

"Your book" he said wanting to give it back to her.

"Keep it" she said calmly " It was never mine to read" she added and without another word jumped past him dissapearing in corridor seeming completly unfazed by the fact that school librarian

practically throw her donation away.

If he didn't know her he might have felt weird seeing her behaviour, but after so many Dumbeldore's Army meetings it wasn't nothing new for him. He glanced back at book. An atrament stain was there, still visible, it didn't sink in. He gave a breath of relief and cautionsly looked through pages. Book was empty, completly empty if you didn't count fo the title on the cover and stain he made with the atrament. Remembering Luna's words he just chuckled .

"Guess it isn't mine to read either" For the first time since the Ministry he felt a little bit of happiness crawling inside. Leave it to Luna to cheer him up. Absentmindly he shoved the book into his pocket, forgetting all about it. For the time being he let the warm feelings, that this simple interaction with Luna brought him, overtake him.

But soon all those thoughts were forgotten as he packed his things. Tomorrow he will be back at Dursley's. Yet another summer full of unpleasant chores, being locked and having absolutely no time for studying. Finding his godfather's two-way mirror didn't really help to calm his emotions. Frankly it only aggravated them. He shoved it back into his trunk so strongly that it actually broke into tiny little pieces. Thankfully no one was around to witness that scene. Once he decided that he took all he needed he went back to the common room to join his friends for their last feast in Hogwart this year.

Their goodbyes were brief. One second he was embraced by Hermione and in next he was in his uncle's car, driving back to the Privet Drive 4. His uncle wasn't pleased. Not after the welcoming he got from the adult wizards. Harry didn't really blame him, he wouldn't feel great either if he was greeted by threats from potentially dangerous men, and while one part of him really appreciated the thought, the other, more rational one, knew it will only make the matters worse. Maybe not in the first days, but soon Dursley will feel sure of himself again, and then there will be hell to pay.

But it gave him the opportunity to sneak up his things to his room. He knew he wouldn't be able to do that if the threats didn't take place. So for now he was calm.

It was just as he predicted. Once they reached Privet Drive 4 he was shoved unceremonialesly into his bedroom, but not before he took all his things, what a luck. He took a look at his books." Yes of course, ban borrowing books from the school over the summer but allow students to keep their school books, because that doesn't pose any threat of Muggle finding about the magic." He thought with irritation.

If nothing happened this year he wouldn't even start, but now he was determined to do all his homework. Even if his OWLs didn't allow him to continue studying some of them. He was going to study. Do all essays, just in case. Read whole books, all of them twice at least. Well he could skip the Defence one, he decided, he doesn't need this useless theory anyway. He felt asleep with the transfiguration book under his head. In his dream he transfigured Voldemort into rabbit and then started tournee using him to do magic tricks.

Summer Vacation wasn't even in halfway and he already had his essays done. He even managed to reread his books, and not only those from previous year. It was quite amazing how he could cope with all of that work, taking care of chores and writting letters to his friends at the same time. He didn't say much. A couple sentences ended with "I'm fine, see you soon" and that's all. His heart wasn't really into keeping in touch with his friends. They were spaming him with letters that said Sirius's death wasn't his fault and that he shouldn't blame himself. And while he didn't really agree with them on that he wasn't really affected by his godfather's death. At least he hasn't been till now. Studying occupied his mind, but now when he had nothing else to do the dark thoughts may start to eat him.

He had nothing that would keep his thoughts away, . Having nothing else to do he started to fold his clothes in his trunk. It was then that he found the forgotten book. Carefully as if afraid he may damage it he took it out of his pocket. It looked just as the last time. No contents at all, just a dried atrament stain on the first page. He sighed at that.

"I have no idea what I was expecting." he said placing the book on his desk. Luna must have pranked him, he decided. A long sigh escaped his lips, he really is hopeless case. Stuck in this house with nothing left to do, well he could reread all his books again, but deep down he felt that if he does that he's going to go mental. After all how long one could read same things. He was pretty sure he memorized most of it, actually he surprised himself with the fact that once he got to read it throughfully even potions books seemed to make sense. Well at least more sense than Snape ever did. But what good it gave him now. If he knew all of that sooner maybe no one would die because of his foolishness... He cringed mentally.

His gaze went back to the book. Well it must have been prank, right? He reached for it, and having nothing else to do went through it pages again. His imagination must have been playing tricks at him because he could swear that he saw something as the dim light of the only lamp in his room fell on its pages. Intrigued he brought the book closer to his eyes.

"Heh, I must be going mad" he say out loud " Yeh and I sure do help myself by talking to myself" he added chuckling. Indeed he was alone in his room. Dursleys were taking a night out at some restaurant and his owl had left with the letters to the Weasleys, so he was the only living person in this house. He didn't mind it that much as being alone calmed him, and allowed him to study without risk of getting distracted be it by Hedwig's shrieks or those of his aunt. He laughed at the last thought.

He looked at it wasn't the time to think about it. It was as if his mood influenced the efficiency of his spells. He didn't give up because of that though. Even constant headaches couldn't make him change his mind. He had to study, as fast as possible. But despite his efforts, he was unable to do so. His mind couldn't take much more, he knew that if he would try to study it would be useless.

He sighed. The pages were as always, empty. Leaving "prank book" as he decided to call it now on his lap, he reached to his trunk to pick up some other book (maybe he missed some school assignment?). Absentmindedly he grabbed first thing on his way and almost immediately he felt pain in his right hand.

'Ouch" he muttered looking at the piece of glass, the same glass that used to be his two-way mirror, that was sticking from his hand. Carefully, he removed the piece trying to calm his breathing. That surprised him. He stood up suddenly, the movement send the "prank book" on the floor opening it in the middle. At the same time a drop of blood from his wounded hand fell down onto the page.

"Oh shit" muttered Harry. Despite everything she may have told him, he really planned to give the book back to Luna. And now he spoiled it, just great.

He looked round his room, trying to find something to cover his hand but the search was futile. All he had was dirty piece of sheets.

"I guess this will have to do" he sighed carefully tearing piece of cloth and wrapping it around his hand.

He let out another sigh as he looked on the floor. He bended to pick the book up and almost at once dropped it on the floor again.

There were no more empty pages in the book. Each was now filled with one sentence.

_Call my name._

" A name?" he asked himself. He felt sudden chill running down his spine. Absentmindedly he looked at the cover again where the title could be seen " Rah'nar" he read not realizing he said it aloud.

In next second world changed, at least that's how it felt like for him. He felt as if he was pulled in invisible field, which was warm and cold at the same time. And then he heard it.

"Harry Potter."

He looked around just to see tall, man..well something, with an cat-like eyes who were staring at him expectantly. He blinked few times trying to figure out whether he was dreaming.

"Do I kno..." he started but he was cut off almost immediately.

"Are you willing to pay?" the creature asked in the same cold, distant voice.

"Huh?" he said perhaps not too inteligently.

"Are you willing to pay?" it repeated with amazing patience.

"Erm, for what?" he asked not sure if he wanted to continue this strange conversation.

A creature blinked few times and then said with something that could be considered a sigh " You called me therfore I am.

"Called you? But I didn't.." he mumbled but then sudden thought hit him." Are you.. Are you Rah'nar?

The only answer he received was a slow nod.

Seeing his silence the Rah'nar repeated his question.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand, pay for what?" The answer he received wasn't what he expected at all.

"Anything"

"Anything?"

"You called me, I will give you what you desire as long as you pay." The creature-man explained with a hiss."That's the rule. The one who calls the name pays for whatever they desire"

Strange thought began to fill his mind as he read through the words. It must be some stupid fairy tale or something, right? They lived in the world of magic, but that didn't mean that the wishes simply came true. Otherwise world would be in chaos. Yet some desperate part in him really wanted to believe in what he heard.

"Like Voldemort, you could get rid of him?" he asked not really daring to hope.

"Are you willing to pay" It asked again looking straight at him.

To be honest he wasn't sure about trusting this weird creature that appeared from god knows where. But more rational part of his brain was quickly subbed by the other one.

Harry gave it long look, "What, are you going to make me sign pact with the devil now?" he half-joked trying to ease the tension he felt. His words caused the creature to chuckle.

'That is so old-fashioned" it said sighing."Not at all, little wizard."

"My answer is yes" he agreed, thought once he really thought about it, he wasn't really sure just what exactly he was agreeing to.

"Good" it smiled showing him row sharp spiky teeth, dismissing any illussions Harry might have about his compan being human, well like cat-like pupils weren't enough. The creature, whatever it was, closed the distance between them, "Then I shall claim my price" it said in this strange hissing voice.

Its long, cold fingers closed around Harry's face, and for a second Harry thought that it was planning to crack his skull or something, but in the next moment the creature bent down to kiss him. His body froze. The kiss was strange, not only because it was his second kiss, there was also something strange about it. It made him feel sick and happy at the same time.

"There" it said with a satisfied smirk. Harry looked mersmerized.

"That's it? That's your price?" he asked feeling rather confused. Here he was being offered so much for... a kiss?

"The price has been taken" It said smilling in a strange way " Don't worry little one. After all your desire shall be fullfiled." it added looking at the celling. "Goodbye Harry Potter. I shall keep my end of this deal" it said and then dissapeared into the air, leaving no trace behind.

"Wait, how did you know my... name" he half-shouted, but his question remained unanswered.

The strange feeling of being surrounded by a shield dissapeared as well. His room looked just as always.

The book's pages were blank.


End file.
